I’m not a super mum, my children are the superheroes!

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Just lately I’ve been hearing a lot of “you’re such a super mum” but really I’m not. Just hear me out, it won’t take long, I promise!

The day that L was diagnosed with autism, it seems that life handed me a cape and said “Wear this, for now you must fight for your child, you must never stop. Every waking moment, and most nights, you must figure out how to fight for your child. There is no guide book, you just need to figure it out as you go.”

There are days, weeks even, when I am completely exhausted. Not your ordinary had-a-late-night type of exhausted. I’m the I-need-5-cups-of-coffee-just-to-keep-my-eyes-propped-open exhausted, and that’s quite difficult when I can’t drink caffeinated coffee - caffeine gives me migraines L And no matter how many extra naps I manage to get, I just can’t seem to catch up on the much needed sleep.

There are days when I wish that never again should any parent have to fight for what is simply their child’s right, that they shouldn’t have to justify to medical professionals and funding bodies about their child’s diagnosis. There are days when I wish that the world was sensitive, understanding and inclusive to any individual who has a disability. That they aren't made to jump through hoops to get the help that they need. There are days when I wonder if L or O had a physical disability would it be easier to get them the help that they need. And then I get angry because it shouldn't be that hard to get help. It shouldn't make a difference but it does because Autism is considered a "hidden disability." I wish people wouldn't say "but they look normal." And then I want to set about changing societies perceptions of what Autism looks like!

There are times when I am tired of explaining that a diagnosis of Autism is not the end of the world, it just means we are touring a different world. I don't want to keep explaining that they need to be happy for us because we are on an amazing eye opening, constantly learning journey with a wonderful tour guide. I want people everywhere to understand Autism.

I don’t want to have to tell people not to pity my child because he has Autism. I want them to see that he has the most amazing strengths and that every day he is learning new skills. That both my children can achieve whatever they set their minds to, they might just take longer to get there and take little detours every now and then.

I wish that the mother at the playground who looked down her nose at me because L was having a rough morning and then told her little boy, within ear shot of us, not to play with my boy “because he’s being very naughty” would have a little more empathy towards others. I’ve yet to meet a child who is perfectly behaved all day, every day. I secretly cheered when her child started carrying on like a pork chop because he didn’t want to leave the playground! I wish that she would let her child learn how to play with children who are “different” from him, let him work how to be inclusive and accommodating of others. He needs to learn these things to help this world become a better place in the future.

I wish that sometimes I didn’t have to choose between my children. Kisses and cuddles in bed with O or have L on my lap to avoid a meltdown because he can’t get comfortable on the couch. Take O to her activities so that she can do something that she loves or put it off another week because it is easier not to go rather than take L and not be able to give O my full attention. And then I remember that L and O don't misbehave on purpose, well sometimes they do. They are trying to tell me something, just not with words because in that moment they can't find the words to use.

I wish that one night, just one, both my children would eat what I cook instead of eating tin spaghetti for the fourth night in a row. Think I really need to take out shares in the spaghetti company!

I’ve never felt like giving up and walking away when things have become too overwhelming. I have, however, wanted to lie in the foetal position and just cry and stay like that for a while. I don’t want to feel guilty about feeling that way, I need to be weak at times. I’m not so great at being strong all the time, who is. I need to cry sometimes, I do make mistakes and I do let my guard down. I'm not perfect. I don't want to be made to feel guilty when I have a rough day.

Having one child with autism and another who is suspected of being on spectrum, doesn’t make me a super mum, it really doesn’t. It does make me a fighter. I will constantly fight for both my children, for what they deserve. Don't ever tell me that they can't do something, you really don't want to be on the receiving end of a tirade from me!

I'm not a super mum, my kids are the superheroes. They never give up, they set their goals high and they will get there. They are the ones with superpowers, not me. I'm just their support team!