Weird Question

 

I've lost count of the number of people who ask if I wish there was a cure for Autism.

No I don't.

Without Autism, ADHD, SPD and everything else in between, my children would not be who they are. They are neurodiverse and are perfect the way they are.

I've also been asked that if I knew my kids were going to be Autistic, would I still have had children.

The answer is always yes. I love both my children for who they are. And I wouldn't change them for the world.

#littlesuperheroes #autismheroes

What the hell????

 

Now this could potentially blow up in my face, but you know what, I'm over people trying to silence others because "I'm Autistic and I know best."

Every time, I'm really not exaggerating, I go onto the various social media platforms, there is yet another post in which Autistic individuals are belittling others, sometimes it is towards neurotypical individuals, other times it is towards Autistic individuals. And the reason is always I'm Autistic and I know best." You know what, I call bs. 

I am Autistic. I have always been Autistic but didn't realise until after both my children were diagnosed as ASD. I always knew that I was different but didn't know how - I didn't fit what some medical professionals say Autism is. After both my children's ASD assessments, (and it was confirmed by those who assessed by children,) I met all of the ASD red flags in my own way.

If I didn’t advocate for both my children, and I will continue to do so until THEY (and no one else,) tell me that they are confident enough to self advocate, who would have advocated for them???

Too often prior to both their diagnosis, and even now years after their diagnosis, medical and education professionals dismissed their struggles because "they don't fit what people think Autism is."

If I didn't advocate for them both, they may not have been accepted into the NDIS. They may not have received the assistance at school. 

Parents do know what is best for their children. Sure listen to Autistic adults, read books - there are some brilliant books out there, - find social media pages to follow - but ultimately take the advice and use it how you want to. Try the suggestions that you read about, if they don't fit you or your child, try something else.

Every Autistic individual is just that, an individual. We share similar traits but that is it. What works for one Autistic individual is not going to work for the next.

One Autistic individuals lived Autistic experience is their experience.

My lived experience as a late diagnosed Autistic adult is my experience. My experience is different, but very similar, to my children's lived experience. My husbands lived experience as a late diagnosed ADHDer, is his experience.

Every Autistic individual, child or adult, is unique.

Instead of telling, no bullying, people into doing what you say because "you know best," interact respectfully and help each other out.

Why we need space!

Quite often after both little superheroes have had big days, either at school or if we have gone on a family outing, they will need space and time to decompress. The sensory, emotional and social overload can, and often does, take a huge amount of physical, emotional and mental effort. And the combined overload takes a toll mentally, physically and emotionally and can leave an individual feeling completely exhausted.

Having Henry to assist L is an immense help but both little superheroes still need to decompress in their own time and in their own spaces.

Every individual has their own coping mechanisms, and the little superheroes are no different.

Since having Henry placed with us, L will almost always go straight to Henry and give Henry the commands for laps and overs (deep pressure therapy,) or just lay on the floor getting Henry cuddles.

We give them time to chill out - L has a huge cardboard box that he and Henry squeeze into, either to play on a device or just to lay and have cuddles. O will usually lay in her room listening to music. Depending on the overload for the day, really depends on how much time they need to chill and just be.

Once the little superheroes have self regulated, they will often come and seek us out for cuddles. Going to them too soon, can make their exhaustion worse.

Often parents, and/or carers, will ask their children or loved ones, well meaning and well intentional questions about their day. Questions such as "how was your day?" or "what did you do today?" or "did you have a good day?" These questions may make individuals who are already feeling overwhelmed, feel even more bombarded and/or bewildered as questions such as these are very broad.

How was your day? It is still day, so I don't know yet.

What did you do today? You know what I did today, I went to school/work/whatever activity was planned.

Did you have a good day? Can you define good? I didn't get into trouble at school if that is what you mean so that is good, but I felt overwhelmed by my anxiety so that wasn't good.

Unless the little superheroes begin talking with us about what has happened to cause them to feel overwhelmed, we leave the questions until dinner time, This way, part of their daily routine is to talk about the good things that happened.

Obviously if either of the little superheroes want to talk before dinner, we talk. Letting them take the lead, when they are feeling less overwhelmed, usually means that they will both be open about what is causing them distress.

At dinner, we focus on the good things. Talking about the day in a positive manner makes the world of a difference. We will usually get everyone, including us, to say one good thing that happened at school/work that day. And when we do ask questions about the little superheroes day, we ask focused questions based on what we know that they have been doing for the day.

And most importantly, if either of the little superheroes become overwhelmed, we provide them with support. If an individual becomes overwhelmed from sensory or emotional or social, and so on, inputs, they just need and want to be supported.

Autism Masking

Let's talk about masking, in particular Autism masking.

But first, everyone masks at one point in time. You may only show your work side of your personality in the workplace - a form of masking. You may hide your true feelings about something so as not to upset others - again masking. You may be emotionally and mentally exhausted but don't tell people around you because you don't want to worry them - again similar to masking.

You weren't taught how to do these things, it just happens. How exhausted at the end of the day do you feel?

Now imagine masking every inch of your being, every single day. 

Autistic individuals, at times, realise that to fit in with their peers, they have to mask their own traits. They may realise that if I have an emotional overload then my peers will judge me, I may get into trouble.

Masking is detrimental to an Autistic individuals emotional, mental and physical well-being.

You may see one behaviour, extremely well behaved compliant individual in one setting, and the complete opposite in another.

Please, please understand masking. Don't dismiss the individual, or their family. Take the information on board and ask, how can we assist.

Autistic individuals are expected to fit into a world, a system, that isn't designed for them. Rather than expecting them to fit in, make accommodations.

Provide an Autistic individual with the support so that they feel comfortable to unmask.

Autism Awareness and Acceptance 2022

It's April, which means it is Autism Awareness Month.

But you know what, we don't need more awareness. Acceptance is what all Autistic individuals want. We want to be accepted for who we are.

April the 2nd is World Autism Day.

Please be accepting of those individuals who are different, regardless of whether you know that they are Autistic or not.

We have been on this journey for almost 10 years, as we knew that L was different from the moment he arrived Earth side. Officially, our families Autism journey began in 2016.

Your view of the world changes when let yourself view the world through another's perspective. Both O and L view the world in their own ways. And we wouldn't have our family any other way!

Throughout the month of April, I am going to share ways in which you can show a little more Autism Acceptance. But acceptance shouldn't just be in April, it should be year round.

[Raising Autism Awareness 101

Autism has no look. Every individual is unique.]

So how can you show more Autism Acceptance?

If an individual tells you that they are Autistic, don't question their diagnosis.

Autism has no look. Too many times, and far too frequently we hear "they just don't look Autistic."

By stating this, or something similar, you are not helping. You are in fact questioning their every being.

It can take families time to actually get an Autism diagnosis, and when you question the validity of the diagnosis, it can be a huge kick in the guts to them.

Don't question, just accept and open your eyes as to how they view the world.

 

[Raising Autism Awareness 101

Autism is for life. Autism does not magically disappear 

when an individual turns 18.]

Autism is for life. Autism doesn't disappear at the age of 18, but unfortunately therapy services for Autistic adults can be more difficult to find and access. An Autistic individual won't get better, life at times doesn't become easier for the individual.

Some new Memes

 Who loves a Meme? Here's a few that we've posted on our social media profiles!

[If an Autistic person is non-verbal, still include them in conversations.

You may be surprised at just how much they are taking in.]

[Meet your child where they are developmentally here and now,

rather then be concerned by where medical or education

professionals say that your child should be.]

[Stop and admire the little things in life,

the tiny details that we miss through

being busy, because these can be the most

wonderous things.]

[Be so completely yourself that everyone else

feels safe to be themselves too. Unknown.]

[Normal is not a goal for me.

Normal isn't a compliment.

Normal is too much like playing tetris,

fitting in for the sake of fitting in.

O, 12 years.]

[Neurodiversity is....

A different way of thinking.

A different way of processing everything that an individual

sees, feels and hears in th3e world around them.

A different way of communication ones needs,

thoughts and wants.]

[Remember to choose the battles that you want to fight.

But also, for your children sake,

fight the battles that need to be fought.]

Autism Acceptance and Awareness 2020

April is Autism Awareness and Acceptance Month world wide but unfortunately, 2020 had other ideas this year. Usually there would be public events held to celebrate all things Autism. This year, we were all housebound and April seemed to both fly and drag by at the same time.

It's now July, I don't even know where May and June went, and I'm only just getting around to posting these memes that I created for our social media pages!

So without any further ado, here's just a few of the memes from April!

[It's April! Know what that means?? Autism Awareness and Acceptance Month! 

But Autism Awareness and Acceptance needs to be a year round occurrence.]

[Autism Lesson 101

Autistic individuals do not have a lack of empathy.

We may struggle to understand and interpret our own and the emotions of others, but that doesn't mean that we don't have empathy. I feel empathy towards others, and at times I am over empathetic in wanting to help others.

O, 11 years.]

[Autism Masking

is exactly what it sounds like.

An Autistic individual may either consciously, or subconsciously, put on a metaphorical mask when they leave their safe place, ie home, each day.

Masking takes a lot of emotional, mental and physical energy to the point that when they arrive back at their safe place, they may explode in a meltdown or they may shutdown.]

[Autism Lesson 101

Communication can be difficult for Autistic individuals. Verbal speech, hidden non-verbal cues, body language, there are so many aspects of communication to interpret.]

[Rose are red,

Autism is a ride,

Will you come and join us?

We're the best tour guides!]

[Autism Lesson 101

Autism is a spectrum.

No two individuals are the same. They may have similar traits in some areas, but they will differ in others.

O, 11 years.]

[Autism Lesson 101

Sensory Processing Difficulties can affect ALL of an individuals senses....

Sight, Hearing, Taste, Touch, Smell, Interoception, Proprioception and Vestibular.]

[If you've met one Autistic person ....

then you really should go out and meet a few more Autistic people.

We're all pretty Ausome.

Just saying!]