You Are Your Childs Safe Place

To the Mama or Papa who needs to hear this ....

You are your child's safe place.

You heard me right. You. Are. Your. Child's. Safe. Place.

And it is all because of how much they know that you love them.

When your child is showing their most challenging behaviour to you, it is because you are their safe place and they have come to realise that, through the love and care that you shower them with. And this is a good thing.

At some stage in every child's life, regardless of whether they have an ASD diagnosis or not or any other diagnosis for that matter, they will exhibit some kind of challenging behaviour. And it will most likely be towards you.

Your child knows that when they are at home, there is no judgement from those who love them. They know that love at home is unconditional.

When you child is exhibiting challenging behaviour they are trying to tell you something in the only way that they know how at that moment in time. They could be screaming, yelling, throwing things, they may have shut down and are refusing to verbally tell what they need to tell you. At that particular point in time, they are using the only way that they know how, to tell you that they are having a rough time. They are trying to communicate with you.

Yes it is challenging as a parent when your children are yelling and screaming or have shut down. But if it is challenging for you, imagine how hard it must be for them? 

Your child could be having a rough time dealing with a sensory input or a lack of sensory input. They could be internalising built up anxiety from their day at school. They could be having a hard time communicating to you using verbal words, what their needs and wants are in that moment.

As parents we need to remember that when it feels like our children are giving us a hard time, our children are having an even rougher time.

What you need to do as a parent is to remain as calm as possible. A child who is in distress, needs calm. Don't get me wrong, it is incredibly difficult to remain calm and not respond to a child who is showing BIG emotions, with emotions. But the chances are that if you respond to a screaming child with yelling, the entire situation with escalate and become a lot more intense.

Take a deep breath, or two or three, before you respond. Ground yourself so that you can try to remain calm. Walk away if you must. Take a moment to remember what it was like when you were a child and struggled to articulate yourself when you were experiencing BIG emotions.

And then remind yourself that your child is not doing the behaviour on purpose, they are trying to communicate with you.

Remind yourself that you are their safe place.