When choosing a Labrador, or any other furry companion, make sure that he (or she) has the standard described below....
- The Labrador does not walk; he/she trots! With a certain air of confidence and looking at the world from its immeasurable "height" while thinking ... “at what are you looking? Have you never seen such a beautiful creature as I am?”
- The Labrador does not run, but sprints like a rocket; he does not jump, but flies and bounces like a rabbit, or does zoomie helicopters!
- The Labrador doesn’t play. For him, a game is something to be taken seriously. Very seriously.
- When the Labrador sleeps, it cannot simply be said that he sleeps. He spreads on the sofa, becomes catatonic, reaches Nirvana ... and snores like a tractor!
- The Labrador never begs for food. He simply makes a gentle munching sound that announces what his belly demands. He stares at you while ribbons of drool run from his marshmallow mouth, accompanied by high-pitch sounds like a verse by a tormented poet.
- The Labrador does not need to talk. He commands telepathy, hypnosis, ultra-sensory perception .... and paws, should you fail to understand the previous prompts.
- When he eats, the Labrador does not just consume his meal. He/she devours it, gulps, swallows, gulps, and then looks at you as if to say, “it tastes fine, where’s the rest of it?!"
- The Labrador does not pass gas ... he /she gasses you to death!
- The Labrador does not wag its tail, but he waddles, or more precisely, "he shakes his behind"! It doesn't follow you .... the Labrador is the most obsessive of stalkers. The Labrador never follows you; he tracks your every movement with the precision of a secret agent.
- The Labrador has a relationship with you that is not simply one of affection ...no, he is not close to you. He is a part of you. The Labrador does not run towards you, but he invests you! He claims you in an exuberant fashion!! When you pat him, he’s in ecstasy and slips effortlessly into a land of contentment , usually at your feet.
The Labrador worships, adores, idolizes and loves you as only a Labrador can. That is his sole purpose in life.
The exact same can be said for any furry companion 
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