Saturday 9 September 2017

Why do my little superheroes show their vulnerable side to me?

Have you ever been told comments like the following by complete strangers?

"Your children are so well behaved and so well mannered."

 "It is wonderful to see such polite children, you're doing such a great job with them."

"O is so well behaved in class, she's a pleasure to teach."

What????? My little monsters, I mean, my children????? Good golly no, you must be mistaken! Are you sure you not talking about other children?

Both of my little superheroes are often complimented on their manners when we are in public. I usually smile graciously, thank the stranger profusely and then make a hasty exit in the opposite direction and hope that they don't stumble upon us when the little superheroes are in the midst of a meltdown!

And as we're walking away my mind will flash to earlier in the day when I could have sworn that my little superheroes were trying to kill each other while they were waiting to see who could cause my head to start spinning first.

At home it feels as though both of my little superheroes are at each others throats constantly. They do play nicely with each other, but the majority of the time they are arguing or antagonising one another. I may be over exaggerating the amount of time, but some days I feel as though I am just a ring side referee.

However when we are in public, my little superheroes turn into polite and well mannered children. They say please, thank you and excuse me. They are polite to each other, to us and to others and they are helpful.

And this is when we receive the compliments.

Compliments that cause me to feel like a complete fraud.

Compliments that cause me to become frustrated because I know that the minute we arrive home, the polite children will disappear and the arguing will begin, again.

And then I remember that my little superheroes show their vulnerable side to me because I am Mum, I am their safe place. I am predictable and I love them unconditionally. And they both know this.

Home is their safe haven where there is no judgement from others. Home is the place where they are accepted for who they are.

And that is when I sit back and think that yes I am doing a great job at raising my little superheroes to be polite and well mannered children.

I don't lose my s&*# all that often and in public may two are good, no great, kids.

I also figure that I would prefer my little superheroes to be little terrors at home and polite in public, rather than the other way round.

So the next time you are pulling your hair out as to where your polite children have disappeared to, keep this post in mind!


  1. I loved your post and this reminds of a latest incidents we had at a restaurant where I was on a family dinner and it was a silent ambience and all were talking in a hushy voice to each other. All of a sudden my Boy stood and said I am a Peppa Pig. Lols and every one laughted. Loved your post. :)

  2. Thats exactly how I feel when I am home vs outside, infact there were people asking how I manage my kids - and I used to be like ____________

  3. This is so true, we are mom and always a safe place.

  4. This is such a great perspective. I never thought of it that way! Thanks for sharing!


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