Wednesday 27 September 2017

The WTF Moments!

In his 5 years of life so far L has given us many WTF moments! 

In 2014 ....

When we took O to her very first swimming lesson, L took the opportunity to run off and jump into the pool. In the deep end. Without anyone to catch him and he promptly sunk to the bottom of the pool. After fishing him out, he wanted to do it all over again. Mmm, that was when we realised that L desperately needed to learn how to swim.

By mid 2014 we had already earnt a frequent flyer pass to the accident and emergency department with L due to various illnesses throughout the first half of the year and L had decided that his favourite nurse in the department was a man by the name of Kryll!

L tripped on air and smashed his head into the corner of a cupboard at day care which resulted in a trip to our local hospital. At the hospital ALL of the doctors on duty in the accident and emergency department kept stopping by to see what was actually wrong with the child who could not keep still - he was bouncing on the bed, jumping off the bed, running around the department. Once his wound was glued shut, I was advised that we should go home. But no, L had other ideas. A dose of panadol and he was ready to go back to day care! L was quite disappointed that Kryll wasn't on duty!!

Both O and L had their tonsils removed on the same day - a strategic move on our part which actually worked well. Within an hour of having his tonsils removed L was eating dry chicken nuggets while O was struggling to eat the jelly. At one point I turned away from L for literally 10 seconds to check on O, and when I turned back, L was sitting on his hospital bed saying "oh no, oh no." He wasn't particularly keen on the IV line so he pulled the entire thing out of his arm leaving me frantically trying to stop the flow of blood while checking on O who was busily vomiting and also trying to get the attention of the nurse on the ward to help me out. Oh, and when L was given a dose of oxycodeine for pain relief, it had the opposite effect! Party in our room as L was bouncing off the walls!

In 2015 ....

L decided to do some night time exploring around our house and climbing up onto the dining table. He lost his grip and fell off, smashing his top teeth into the table as he tumbled off. All done in the middle of the night when Daddy superhero was away for work.

Later in the year, L was copying O as she jumped off of our back retaining wall to practice her gymnastic "motor bike" landing. L face planted on the pavers, bounced along the ground a few times, got up and brushed himself and went back to do it again!

In 2016 ....

On Mothers Day, shortly after Daddy superhero had warned the little superheroes that someone was going to get hurt, L collided with O on the trampoline. L's two top front teeth went into the top of O's head, partially knocking out two teeth. Luckily, or unluckily depending on how you look at it, one of the teeth was one that he tried, unsuccessfully, to knock out in 2015. This resulted in emergency dental surgery to remove the two teeth leaving him gapless until the age of 6 or 7.

In the second half of the year, L decided that he wanted to do some gardening. Unsupervised. With the garden hoe. Which he climbed up onto Daddy's tool bench to get! The result was that L impaled one of the forks of the hoe between his big toe and the next on his left foot leaving a gaping hole on his foot. He would sit playing with his toes saying "I see in my foot" which would leave me feeling slightly queasy.

In 2017 .... 

This year L has earnt himself the nickname of "bead boy" at our local children’s hospital – so far this year we are up to 3 visits to the Accident and Emergency Department for injuries that L has sustained.

This year, L’s injuries include:

L managed, somehow, to get a padded child's toilet seat stuck around his neck. Why he stuck it over his head, we will never know. Daddy superhero was able to remove the seat with the garden shears. 

L stuck a sultana up his nose. We were able to remove the said sultana while he was asleep. And no he didn't think to tell us about the sultana.

L has smashed his head into various toys, furniture, walls and other objects all while playing, in the same spot on his forehead, over a period of about 7 weeks. This has caused a permanent odd bump on his forehead! At one point we were up to a count of 5 weeks of bumping the same spot! He gave his head a break for a few weeks and then started again, in the same spot on his head.

L stuck two, yes two, beados in his ear. Again L didn't tell us about the beados, they were discovered by our GP when I took L to the doctor as he was off colour. I'd be feeling off colour too with foreign objects in my ear! Cue a trip to our local hospital where one beado was removed in rather dramatic and traumatic fashion. After the first beado was removed the doctor checked L's ear and found a second beado to which L proudly declared "oh green, my favourite colour!" Not in your ear buddy! Cue a trip to the children’s hospital to undergo a general anaesthetic to remove the second beado. This resulted in L gaining the nickname of “bead boy” from the Emergency Department staff!

L fell out of the school bus and landed head first on the school driveway on the first back to school of second term. L gave himself concussion and we ended up back at the Children’s hospital due to the concussion but also due to a concern that he may have fractured his skull. This was a mere TWO weeks after the beado incident. Upon entering the emergency department one of the doctors recognised L and said "what are you doing back buddy?" and one the nurses said "oh I haven't met you, but you're bead boy!" Yep that's my son!

In June, L hit his finger with a stick mid week at school and over the following few days, his finger became more and more tender. A few days later he bumped his finger, and burst into tears. L rarely cries when he is hurt so we knew that something was wrong. Daddy superhero and I made the decision to hold him down and attempt to remove the black dot that we could see. After much screaming and yelling, on L's part, we removed a splinter that was half a centimetre long.

L stuck a plastic bead tube (a crafty type activity) in his other ear. As with the first foreign objects in the ear incident, L didn't think to tell us, our poor GP discovered it, yet again! Cue yet another trip to the Children’s hospital to get it removed, thankfully without the need for a general anaesthetic this time. This time around the Emergency Department staff were joking with me that they should put me on the payroll as we are there so often!

Several weeks ago L declared "Mummy I can't get them off!" L stuck two, yes two, plastic fish eye science toys on his fingers right down to and over the last knuckle. Far out!!! A combination of cooking oil, a hobby vice, pliers and wire cutters and they were both off. Lucky it was on a Saturday night as dinner was quite late!!! I was going to be taking the science toys to work with me for my charges to play with but with L's ability to get them stuck, I decided not to!

I am pleased to say that when O and one of her friends were playing with the beados recently, L told them "don't leave them on the floor, I might put them in my ear again!" At least he's learning!

Updated 8th of January 2018 ....

And to round out 2017, we paid yet another visit to an Accident and Emergency department of our NEW local hospital on new years eve! Yep, you guessed it, yet another foreign object in his ear. The verdict after the object was removed after lots of yelling and screaming was a seed of some description. L now has TWO favourite nurses in TWO accident and emergency departments of TWO hospitals in TWO states of Australia!

Now excuse me as I go and pour myself a glass of red!! Life is never dull!

I am hoping that L will give us a break from visiting the Children's hospital in 2018. Fingers crossed!!

And people wonder why we can't leave L unsupervised!

1 comment:

  1. Hahahaha, I'm so sorry for laughing but oh my gosh!


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