To the Bullies.

*** Please note, if this post brings about emotions in yourself that cause you distress, please seek advice from a trusted medical professional.***

This is something that I posted on my own social media profile some time ago, but I feel for my own closure, I need to post it here.

This is going to be long, if you don’t have time to read, scroll on. If you do read it, I don’t want your pity, I just need to get this off my chest as something happened that has brought back memories that I thought I had buried.

To the people who made the choice to bully me in high school - at the time you made me hate myself in a way that I will never forget and also never want to revisit. You made me want to disappear so that the emotional pain would go away. You made me question every part of myself and my being. 

You bullied me in class at school, out of class at school and out of school. 

Some of you also made the decision to be nice to me when other people weren’t around, yet you’d become the bully again when there were other people present which made your actions and words even more confusing. You spread rumours about me while at school and then continued well after we all graduated from year 12. 

You are the reason why for so long, I cut off all contact with and chose not to associate with, anyone that I went to high school with. It was a huge emotional struggle to meet up with a few of you many years ago and it brought back many many horrible memories, to the point that I again chose not to associate with you for a long time. 

You are the reason why I will never attend any school reunions that are organized, no matter how much people tell me you have changed because clearly you have not.

You made me hate my final year of high school and if I could repeat one year of my life it would be that final year of school at a different school so that I could escape the daily torture. 

While I will never forget what you did and said, I thought I had forgiven you, however I don’t think that I am at that point yet.

I think that it is also very sad and pathetic that all these years later, you still feel the need to be the bully and that you still think bullying is okay.

On the flip side, I want to thank you as you made me who I am today. 

Your bullying has made me realise that I can achieve anything that I set my mind to and that I don’t need approval from anyone. 

Your bullying has made me stronger, I can put up with anything that life throws at me and I will pull through. 

I have a husband who loves me for who I am and supports me with whatever I chose to do, I have two gorgeous children who I am very proud of. I have family and friends who love me for who I am, who don’t want me to change who I am. 

Your bullying has made me understand the damage that words can have on a person and I will never ever let my children or any children in my care go through what you put me through. 

Your bullying has now made me confident. 

Your bullying has made me extremely proud of what I have achieved in my life. 

Your bullying has made me successful in all areas of my life. 

Your actions have made me stronger and I thank you for that, and I am willing to bet that, that was not your intention.