What is Normal Anyway?

How many times have you heard parents say “my child is a normal developing child.” 

What is normal when it comes to describing children? Is there a normal child? Tantrums are normal, all children have them. But are tantrums normal when they progress to the next level where they just go on and on and on and……..

What does a normal family look like? Two parents, one parent, parents and grandparents, same sex parents. There is no normal. 

The way I see it is that what I see as normal, a loving family, might not be how you see a normal family. It’s all a matter of personal perception.

Who decides what is normal and how did they come to that decision? What made them come to the decision to set standards to determine what is normal and what is not? Why did they come to that decision?

In our household, normal is a cycle on the washing machine! None of us are neuro-typical!

Hearing parents talk about their “normal” children made me start to think. What does normal mean? What are the different definitions of normal?

The definition of normal according to the standard dictionary is that when used as an adjective, normal means conforming to the standard or the common type; usual; not abnormal, regular, natural.

I don't fit that definition, I have never conformed to how people expected me to be. Tell me that I can't do something, and I'll prove to you that I can. I was told in year 11 that girls don't do science. So I went onto University, studied science and worked for the CSIRO developing science sessions to be conducted in schools!

In terms of a psychology definition, normal means free from any mental disorder, sane, approximately average in any psychological trait.

I'm on happy pills, so I don't fit that definition either.

Did you know that the word normal has its origins in Latin, circa 1520 – normalis made according to a carpenter’s square, equivalent to norm! I didn’t, you learn something new every day.

I then found an Urban Dictionary. It says that the word normal is nothing but a word made up by society so they could single out and attack those who are different.

Mmmm, makes you think doesn’t it.

As Truman Capote said in Breakfast at Tiffany’s – “It may be normal darling; but I’d rather be natural.”

I keep telling my little superheroes when they talk to me about being different than their friends – “if you try to be normal all the time, you’ll never know how amazing you can really be. Be yourself, because there is not another person like you. You are unique."

To me “normal” is an ideal but it isn’t reality. Normal points out our failings, our deficits. There is no normal, just peoples perceptions of what they think normal is. Be who you are, don’t let anyone make you feel inadequate for being you. Being normal is overrated.

Be the one who stands out in the crowd, be the one who becomes a leader, be the one who causes change to happen.

Yep, I’m weird but I am proud of my weirdness. I don’t want to be a neuro-typical. I want to be the best version of me.